I'm Cringing Already

I know I’m low when walking outside to read a book is too much effort. Sit in the shade with a book I’ve been meaning to finish, or stay in bed? I mean, if I stay in bed I don’t have to move, right?

Even though things are looking up, and really, they are, I still feel like I’m going nowhere. I have student loans that I was supposed to start paying back this month. Whoops, had to buy gas instead. Credit card bills. Not a shocking amount, but enough to where I feel bad about it.

There are other things, but generally I’m an upbeat, positive person, and this is supposed to be a generally upbeat positive blog. So I’ll keep those to myself.

The Six Feet Under finale fucked me up.
OMG.

OMG.

Just found out my WHOLE first two weeks of work will be on my first paycheck so basically I can pay everyone back for all the gas money I’ve borrowed for the past two weeks, thanks guys, I couldn’t have gone to work without you.

I mean, not any of you, but if you’d like to donate money to my gas fund I have paypal.

You can do anything, you lucky bastard; you’re alive. What’s a little pain compared to that?
Nathaniel Fisher
Sam Elliot just called me, told me his name was Dave, and apologized for having the wrong number.

Don’t try to trick me, Sam Elliot, I know your voice when I hear it.

420 days of sobriety. 

Blaze it…?

420 days of sobriety.

Blaze it…?

That's a different island, sweetheart.
Sister: *Takes a shot of Jameson*
Sister: Ew, don't give me any more of that Jamaican shit...
At my littlest sister’s 21 run.

She’s making all the boys buy her drinks. THE WAY IT SHOULD BE.

I’ve had so many root beers…

(I’m the DD).
I’m officially a teacher.

I’m officially a teacher.

It’s a “Hey mom, do you have any Xanax left?” day.

It’s a “Hey mom, do you have any Xanax left?” day.

You can catch a fly with honey, but you can catch more honeys being fly.
Found on facebook, and also my new life motto.
Backdoor Tomfoolery
Boss: Alright, let's go over our backdoor policy...
Me: *Purses lips to avoid smiling*
Boss: *Chuckles*
Me: *Can't contain laughter*
Boss: *Can't contain laughter*
Me: I'M SO SORRY; I TRIED SO HARD TO BE PROFESSIONAL.
Boss: WE ARE TWELVE YEARS OLD.
You and me both wish, Frohike.

You and me both wish, Frohike.

Someone got a little tired of the summer heat.