I'm Cringing Already
Forgetting North Dakota.

One of my friends recently took a road trip to North Dakota to sell some of his custom made furniture. He hated North Dakota so much, when he got back he decided to throw a ‘Forgetting North Dakota’ party in the woods at a lake up north.

I’m about to forget North Dakota.

Good morning to me! Yes, that’s my car. In the middle of an intersection. 

On the bright side, I now know the difference between jerry-rigging and jury-rigging something.

Good morning to me! Yes, that’s my car. In the middle of an intersection.

On the bright side, I now know the difference between jerry-rigging and jury-rigging something.

Could have seen Star Trek tonight but chose not no because I get anxious in theaters.

But I don’t get anxious in bed. Which is where I stayed instead.

Clang clang
Me: What's that noise?
Me: It's like someone is banging a wrench against a flagpole.
Me: Oh lovely, it's the white trash neighbors playing horseshoes on their front yard.
Me: Dammit, why didn't I think of that first?
Me: I want to play horseshoes...

Also, my students who took a vacation to Disneyland brought me back a sweet Mickey mug. So of course I used it immediately and bragged about it to everyone I saw.

No lie, I love No-Li beers.

Badass sighting of the day: Man riding a motorcycle with an axe in one hand. Bravely riding straight into the apocalypse.
I’m house sitting some friends’ house with their dogs while they’re away. There is plenty of food and beer and liquor in the house that they told me to eat before anything went bad, as they’ll be gone for three weeks. 

The beer is gone. Well, it was gone after the first couple days. But that was to be expected. 

Yesterday I took some of their food including a hard-boiled egg to school for lunch. I bit into the hard boiled egg and it turns out it was more over-easy-boiled. I cried a little just now thinking about it. 

Moral of the story: Always hard-boil your own eggs.

I’m house sitting some friends’ house with their dogs while they’re away. There is plenty of food and beer and liquor in the house that they told me to eat before anything went bad, as they’ll be gone for three weeks.

The beer is gone. Well, it was gone after the first couple days. But that was to be expected.

Yesterday I took some of their food including a hard-boiled egg to school for lunch. I bit into the hard boiled egg and it turns out it was more over-easy-boiled. I cried a little just now thinking about it.

Moral of the story: Always hard-boil your own eggs.

GPOYW - Bring me the sleep, please.

GPOYW - Bring me the sleep, please.

An afternoon of good slacking led to an early morning of no sleeping. I would like to fall back asleep now.

An afternoon of good slacking led to an early morning of no sleeping. I would like to fall back asleep now.

As you can see, the place I’m house sitting is overlooking the fucking forest. I don’t think I’ll let the owners move back in in three weeks. 

As you can see, the place I’m house sitting is overlooking the fucking forest. I don’t think I’ll let the owners move back in in three weeks. 

SCIENCE: MAKING FRACTIONS BADASS SINCE SEVEN THIRTY THIS MORNING.

SCIENCE: MAKING FRACTIONS BADASS SINCE SEVEN THIRTY THIS MORNING.

Also, DOGPILE.

Also, DOGPILE.

YOU PUT MY TOY WHERE?

And

KISS MEH.

Anyone I haven’t chatted with in a while, I apologize for being super busy shaping children’s minds. Well, more like making lesson plans to shape children’s minds. But you get the idea. Kik me if you want to check in with me so I know you’re okay and not dead.